I will not die, but live

By Rhonda McGarrah

"Lord, I didn’t know I was going to die today…," I said as I was watching the screen that showed my blood pressure at forty something over twenty something and quickly dropping.  The doctor and male nurses working on me looked very serious and determined.  I kept hearing "two pints stat" being repeated.  As things started to become so bright all around me, I could feel myself moving into another realm.

It had started out as just a regular Saturday.  It had been a busy week at the real estate office where I worked with my business partner, Lindy, so my husband, Bill, and I had spent the early morning sharing coffee and a quiet time.  We were going to work out at the gym, then get some errands done.  In three and a half weeks we were taking off for a long-awaited two week trip to Israel with our two adult daughters, Holly and Megan, and ninety other people from our church.

In the last couple of years I had been confronted with some stress related incidents which I hadn’t considered too serious.  I had been told to slow down and rest.  I paced myself for a few weeks but somehow just got back into piling one thing on another.  I had a full and busy life—a loving and large extended family, gifted and interesting friends, a successful business, fulfilling ministries, a wonderful church—and challenging and difficult issues to face with all of these.  Life was a continual balancing act.  So, on top of all this, I made a committed effort to take care of myself physically by working out three to four times a week which I had done religiously for the previous year and a half.

Well, that Saturday, as I jumped on the elliptical machine, I was mentally running through my to-do list.  I was going up the levels of difficulty as I warmed up when I started feeling a pain in the middle of my chest right under the breastbone.  I thought I should just push through and it would go away.  I started getting nauseated which was odd so I slowed down.  The pain stayed.  I stopped, got off, walked over to a friend who looked at me and immediately asked if I was OK.  The pain was subsiding but she didn’t think I looked right.  She got my husband, who is a retired firefighter and her husband, who is a fire battalion chief, and off I went to the hospital.  The EKG was good but the blood enzyme tests showed a problem.  I needed an angiogram.  Bill and I were, of course, shocked and concerned.  A cardiologist came to see me and discuss the procedure.  I was then brought a bunch of papers to sign…you know, like you could possibly need a blood transfusion, have a stroke or die, etc.  They did discuss the dangers with me, but reassured me that I was in good shape and these were done every day.  I was nervous but I had had a heart attack and something had to be done.  My family prayed with me, I kissed them all and off I went.

Many of my friends and my extended family had gathered in the waiting room.  After two hours and fifteen minutes, my husband knew something wasn’t right.  The procedure didn’t take that long, so he started asking for some information.  The doctor stepped out and told my family that I had a 99% blockage in a main artery, the circumflex artery.  They had successfully put a stint in which had gone beautifully.  The one coated aspirin I was taking every day had helped to save my life.  But there was a problem.  I had a bleed and they could not find it.  My husband asked what that meant.  The doctor said, "Your wife could die."  After much shock and hysteria, my family started praying and calling people to pray. 

As they frantically worked and my body was dying, my mind and my soul were becoming more alive than ever on this earth with a "peace that passes understanding" as the Bible says and a clarity that was beyond description.  In the realm I was moving into, I truly was not dying.  It was completely light, no darkness.  I was going to heaven—what pure joy, no pain, wholeness and completeness beyond our imagination.  I couldn’t even begin to comprehend or explain the beauty of the experience.  The next thing I remember was being pulled back into the present.  The nurses were over me begging me, "Look at me, look at me."  Then I could feel the pain in my groin area where they had put the compression bandage trying to clot the blood.  My femoral artery had been clipped.  It had bled so hard and fast that they had not been able to tell where the bleed was coming from.  Fifteen minutes after my family and friends had started crying out to God for my life, the doctor came out and said they found the bleed and had stopped it.  I had been given six pints of blood, and they spent all night keeping me alive.  I spent the next three days in CCU.  My family had been scared to death, but I had experienced a glimpse of heaven, and I was full of wonder and joy.  We were all grateful.

The doctors said I made it and had minimal damage to my heart because I was in such good shape.  My weight was good, I exercised, I ate right, but I had a bad family history of heart disease and should have been being monitored by a cardiologist way before my age of 54.  There are medications I now take, and should have taken before, that are helping.  There are also some natural remedies I am working with, and a biggie, I had to lower my stress level.

I had so many miracles through this experience.  The first was that I lived through the heart attack with that 99% blockage, the second was that because of others’ sacrifices I could have a blood transfusion and live after they found the bleed, and a third was that as weak as I was after all this, God healed me and I did get to go to Israel three and a half weeks later.  I climbed mountains, hiked into En Gedi  and did all kinds of physical things, including a couple of very long plane rides.   The fourth miracle and most important is that as I have walked with Jesus daily in this life, I will walk with Him for eternity.  For now, I have the privilege of living.  A week after I got out of the hospital as I was reading my Bible, Psalm 118:17 spoke to my heart, "I will not die, but live, and tell of the works of the Lord."  I have the abiding knowledge that heaven is such a joy, dying is to be considered and respected, eternity is a reality and to be anticipated…and life is a gift.

Read more about heart disease and prevention.